Well, I'm home now...at least if I still consider Montana to be "home." I think in some ways it will always be home - I've spent by far the majority of my life here, and I still have quite a bit of family here. My roots here run deep. On the other hand, I think that, given a week or two to adjust, anywhere can be my temporary earthly "home," so I'll try to be content wherever God places me.
After we got back from Jordan I spent a day in Jerusalem, packing, wrapping up loose ends, doing a little shopping, and hanging out with friends one last time. It was probably the best send-off I've had when the sherut arrived to whisk me off to the airport. As I stated in a previous post, passing through security was less than enthralling, but I did make it through, and all my flights went as smoothly as could be expected.
I had a wonderful few days in Kentucky with my brother and sister-in-law. It was nice just to have time to sit and talk about things: theology, teaching, kids, Israel, books, food... (If you guys read this, thanks again for letting me come see you!)
Then back to Montana. And my brain is still spinning. There are a thousand things that strike me here at "home." A thousand points of comparison and contrast. A thousand things here that remind me of there…just as when I was there I was constantly reminded of here.
So many little things. For example:~ One day I thought I heard bells ringing. In Jerusalem the bells are so constant. You almost forget to notice them, you grow so accustomed to hearing them. Here at home there are a few bells that ring in town, one or two churches, a clock. Nothing that could be heard from where I live, though. I can’t say that I love the bells in Jerusalem. They can be rather obnoxious at times, but in their absence, I find myself missing them.
~ The other day I was driving and happened to be behind someone who was going a little slower than I would have liked. In Israel in such a situation, horns would be blaring immediately, and I admit I was tempted. I don't remember even having the thought of using a horn cross my brain, except possibly when a wreck was imminent, before going to Israel. Perhaps I've changed more than I realize.
~ The menu at a resturant one day reminded me of Dahab - the order things were listed in, and some of the entrees were very similar. Kinda strange.
~ I've been to two graduation parties since being home...and both had hummus. It pretty much made my day, because I miss hummus, and it's not that common here.
There are some wonderful things about being home:
~ I love seeing friends and family. I’ve gotten to see most of my former students in the past couple days and catch up a little. Not enough, but it’s a start. They’re probably what I missed the most while I was away. Still, it’s a little bittersweet seeing them again, knowing that I’m no longer part of their daily life and there’s so much that has happened to them over the past year that I’ve not been able to share in.
~ I love seeing the mountains, and the grass, and the flowers in bloom. I watched people play ultimate Frisbee the other day – on a flat, level, grassy surface. No gaping holes, no poles, no rocks to trip over, no pieces of scrap metal embedded in the ground. It was quite impressive. The mountains, the sunsets…it’s such a beautiful area. I’ve missed that.
~ I love the familiar smells. Especially the smell of sap moving in the cottonwood trees. That smell is an integral part of spring for me. The smells here are perhaps what I missed second most, after the people.
~ I like being able to eat familiar foods – real pepperoni, yogurt that’s not strawberry, peach, pineapple, or plain, cookies, homemade bread, Mexican food, etc. I even had BACON the other day. Yeah. Bacon. So un-kosher!
On the other hand, there are a lot of things I miss.
~ I miss all the friends that I left behind in Jerusalem or that live far away from me here in the states. This is compounded by the fact that together we had seen and learned things and changed in ways that no one here at home will fully understand. I’m slightly afraid that someday I’m going to say something utterly shocking to the people here. My theology and my way of looking at life has changed over the year. Nothing dramatic. Just a bit here and there. It all adds up, though. So I miss having people around who understand that change. I suppose most people who come back from their first year of college feel the same way.
~ As much as I enjoy the sights and smells of Montana, I miss the sights and smells of Israel. Those yellow flowers that were blooming along the road to the school. The towers. The roses. The limestone walls. Even the stairs.
~ I miss playing Ultimate Frisbee and celebrating Shabbat together.
In the end, it's good to be back. Even though my head is still spinning and I'm reminded of Israel every time I turn around. So give me a little grace if I seem a little crazy...and hopefully I'll soon settle into a new "normal." :)
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