Though it's been a while since I've posted much of anything here, it's not from lack of thought. It may be from lack of coherent thought, but I'll try to lay some of my more recent thoughts in order here, for your viewing pleasure.
One thing I've been reflecting on is how much coming here has changed me. For example:
The other day I was reflecting on the time, 11 years ago this month, when I came to Jerusalem for the first time.
I remember visiting the Church of the Holy Sepulcher and one of the members of our group was yelled at by a priest because he supposed his picture had been taken. Looking back, that seems so bizarre. I have since been to the church, numerous times, with numerous people and numerous cameras and have never had any similar incidents. I think it must have been just a fluke - the priest there that day, who was probably also a tourist, was just extra sensitive about pictures or something. I remember that we as a group were a little freaked out about it, though, wondering if that was the norm, wanting not to do anything wrong.
We were so naive, both in our daringness and in our caution. Some of the things we avoided doing out of caution were just as crazy as some of the things we did out of ignorance. Of course, that was pre-intifada. Some things have changed in Jerusalem since then. Nevertheless, it amuses me to remember some of my thoughts from that time.
For another example, the other day I asked one of my friends who started in the master's program here at the same time I did, "Do you ever think about what an idiot you were?" Realizing quickly that it probably wasn't the most tactful question, I started to back-track and explain. Fortunately, he realized what I was getting at and a terrible misunderstanding was avoided. The thing is, looking back, I remember all sorts of little thoughts and expectation and ideas that I had about the world and Israel and even higher education, and slowly but surely, those ideas have been almost imperceptibly changed. Yet looking back, the change is dramatic. Ideas of what is safe and what isn't have been revised as experience has informed my knowledge. Experiences that were once new and strange have become part of daily life. Which is not to say that I feel utterly independent and capable of living here indefinitely, but I am closer.
In a similar way, it's interesting to talk to the semester students or other people who arrived here a relatively short time ago. I hear some of the thoughts that I used to think about Israel coming out of their mouth. I myself have only been here about a year, but that has been long enough to dramatically change the way I think, in some areas at least. I consider my past self rather naive, and I daresay that if I continue to stay here, my future self will think the same of my present self. So, every now and then, when I hear some of the semester students talking, I sort of shake my head and smile to myself and wonder at Dr. Wright's and Diane's great patience in putting up with the same stupid questions and actions semester after semester. I'm grateful for it, though.
I suppose this sort of process always happens when one goes to a foreign country. At first everything is new and exciting (or frightening), but after a year or two, things start to settle into a (hopefully) more proper perspective.
I wonder, though, if in some ways this process is more painfully obvious in the holy land. The people who come here are not generally of the sort who travel to learn about food and culture and see the scenery in a different land. That may be part of the package, but most tourists come here for a religious reason, a pilgrimage, more or less. I won't speak for Jews or Muslims or even orthodox Christians, but most Protestants seem to come feeling that they have a knowledge about and connection to the land, something like "This is the place where Jesus lived and I've studied Jesus all my life so I should know something about it." There is an impossibility of separating the land of Israel from the theology of the visitor. While this is not necessarily a bad thing in and of itself, it can often lead to erroneous views being passionately propounded. Rather than taking the time to sit and listen and learn about the land from the inhabitants (as I assume one would do in any other country one visited) people tend to take hard and fast stands, such as: "Israel has the right to exist and should push all the Palestinians out," or "Israel is an oppressive government and the Palestinians deserve their own country," or "No one in the Orthodox Church can possibly be actually saved," or "Of course Archaeology proves/disproves [you choose] the Bible!" for a few examples. Armed with these and other immutable ideas, evangelicals descend upon the "Holy Land" and wreak all sorts of havoc. It doesn't help that no matter what inflexible stance someone takes, there will be someone here with a stance that is diametrically opposed, possibly even in the same tour group.
To my shame, such opinions may have not differed so very much from my own not long ago. If nothing else, my time here has emphasized to me the importance of listening to all sides of a story before forming an opinion, and, even once some sort opinion has been formed, to be very careful, tactful, and reasonable in expressing it. I don't wish to imply that it is wrong to ever take a stand, but there are times when it is wiser to be slow to decide.
