Hospitality

Do you ever wonder when "having people over" was replaced by "meeting people for coffee?"

I don't just means in terms of youth and adulthood.  In my youth, friends would come over to my house, or I would go over to theirs, or we would play around the neighborhood.  Coffee shops were certainly not within our budgets, even if our parents would have allowed us out of sight that long.

More than that, though, it seems like there has maybe been something of a cultural shift.

In the Old West there were no coffee shops.  My historical information may be lacking, but it seems like just about the only place for socializing outside the home (other than church or the general store) was at the saloon - and that was limited to men (and some women of ill repute).  With few exceptions, there were no restaurants for families to meet at and dine together.  If you wanted to socialize with another family, you would invite them over to your house or perhaps meet them at an event hosted by yet another family.

In contrast, today, there are any number of places where you can meet and eat (or drink) with friends without having them invade your privacy, or you invading theirs - and without involving your respective families.

It's not that I'm against coffee shops.  I was on my way to meet a friend at one today when this thought struck me and made me wonder.

Is there a reason we so rarely invite friends into our home?  (It happens, but it seems that more often we meet somewhere.)
Is it because it's too much trouble, with our busy lifestyles, to bother to cook or clean?
Is it because we have so many friendly acquaintances and invitation to the home are limited to close friends?
Is it so we can meet on neutral ground, neither side having the advantage?
Is it so we can escape from normal life for a while and be with friends in a more relaxing environment than we might find at home?

I daresay there are any number of reasons why hospitality has become something of a lost art here in America, some more worthy than others.  Still, as someone who enjoys having people over, cooking for them, trying to make them feel comfortable and welcome, I think it's a little sad.  Perhaps its an art we should bring back.

Anyone want to come over for dinner or tea sometime?