Waiting

It's not an easy task, but it's one that seems to occupy much of life.  When school is in session we wait for the weekend, the next vacation, or for the glorious summer break.  The last few weeks of summer are spent waiting (some people with eager anticipation, some people with fear and loathing) for school to start again.  In grade school you wait to be one of the "big kids."  Much of High School is spent anticipating college and much of college, anticipating life after school.  We seem to  be always looking to the next step, whether near or far.  

"I can't wait for dinner!"
"I can't wait for summer!"
"I can't wait to make new friends!"
"I can't wait for my birthday!"
"I can't wait to graduate!"
"I can't wait to get married!"
"I can't wait until I know what to do with my life!"
"I can't wait until I have kids!"
"I can't wait until I have grandkids!"

Of course, we actually can (and do) wait, sometimes with more patience and contentment than others.

I have had, I suppose, my fair share of waiting, most often for school to transition to summer and then back.  I generally enjoy both the school year and the summer, but that transition is a welcome change every year.  Up until now, though, most of my waiting has had a certain ending point in sight: summer will begin on a set date, and school will start up, as scheduled, in the fall.*  There is a sense of waiting and anticipation, but not a whole lot of uncertainty.

It's somewhat different this time around.

It seemed clear that God wanted me back in Israel this fall.  Doors were opening.  Even before doors opened I had decided that I wanted to go back.  It seemed like a pretty clear next step with fairly clear timing.

It hasn't quite worked out as I hoped.  The doors are still there and will still probably open fully in time, but I have no idea when that time will be, and there's really nothing I can do about it.

So what DO I do?  I try to be content here, though many times I find myself longing for Israel.  I try to find things to do here while not committing to too much time.  I try to reconnect with friends and family while still staying in touch with friends from Israel.  I'm not really sure where to strike the balance, so I pray a lot for wisdom, guidance, and patience.

I don't know why, in God's providential plan, I have suddenly encountered this obstacle.  I know, though, that He has a reason.  I just hope that I learn what He's teaching and/or do the job that He has for me here.

*I should note here that this sort of waiting differs greatly from the sort of waiting that involves other people.  It is much more difficult to schedule when you will meet friends, get married, or have children (unless, of course, you are already engaged or pregnant - that usually makes the planning a little more certain).