Weddings and such

Note to self: weddings are more trouble than they're worth!

Ok, ok, before someone jumps all over me for that one, I really am a great fan of marriage. It's just this whole production that is called a "wedding" that I'm not so sure about.

Here's the story. For as old as I am, I actually have never really been intimately involved in planning a wedding. Well, I was a flower girl 4 times, but that was a while ago, and I was hardly old enough to do more than get in the way that that time. But now, my ex-roommate is getting married and asked me to be a bridesmaid, which is really exciting. I've always sort of wanted to be a bridesmaid, and I was afraid I would never get the chance. So, I really am excited. But I must admit that it's opened my eyes to the whole world of "THE WEDDING."

The first thing that I realized was that attractive, modest, and inexpensive bridesmaid dresses are not really readily available. There are a few that could be considered attractive, but of the ones we could choose from, none of them were really modest OR inexpensive. Plus, they must be ordered about 10 weeks in advance, and then modified to fit you. Personally hoping to modify mine to make it a bit more modest. With the wedding rapidly approaching, this process was a little more hurried than we would like it.
Lesson learned: If I ever get married and have bridesmaids, attempt to be very considerate of them. Try to find modest, relatively inexpensive dresses in a color or colors that will look decent on all of them. Try to give them enough time to order them and get modifications. There are a few websites that look rather promising for this, such as http://www.beautifullymodest.com.

Next, I was struck by the difficulties involved with planning the bridal shower. The bride now lives out of town, but still wanted the shower here since most of her friends are her. This means that the shower must be planned for a weekend when she is available to come down here, and when the four bridesmaids here in town are available to do it. Even with the weekend decided upon we then had to decide what time and where it was to be held, as well as any special requests to make of the guests, how to word invitations, what sort of refreshments to serve, and what sort of goofy activities and games must take place. I don't wish to imply that this whole process was miserable. On the contrary, it really was rather fun, it just added a bit to my stress level. :) Actually, one of the hardest parts is keeping our plans reasonable. There are four bridesmaids involved in planning this, all of different ages, different experiences, and very different ideas of what happens at wedding showers. Lots of good ideas, but we can't do all of them...how to narrow it down and keep it practical?
Lesson learned: Um...just elope. :) Other than that, um...not really sure how to make that process more efficient.

Finally, I'm amazed by how much weddings cost in general. The expenses incurred by only the bridesmaids is considerable-- $100-$200 for the dress, uncertain amount for the shower, $40 to get hair done, plus make-up, shoes, and travel expenses. And then there's what the bride and groom and family's pay for the dress, rental of facilities, reception food, the cake, rings, etc, etc. Is it really all worth it?
Lesson learned: Again, IF I ever get married, I need to make a conscious effort to cut down on costs. I've never really been enraptured by dreams of the perfect, traditional wedding, so it might be easier for me. I want to marry a good man, and I want as many of my family members and friends to be there as possible, and other than that, I'm not sure that I care much. Actually, what I'd like is a very simple ring that has a tiny diamond if any so it won't get in my way, an orange dress :), my students to sing "The Mathematics of Love", and tea and cookies for the reception. Yup, that sounds good.

More seriously, though, if I ever am a bride, I want to be a considerate one. I suppose any wedding will inconvenience someone a little. I would hope, however, to make that inconvenience as small as possible. We all tend to be selfish creatures, and I think brides are unfortunatly known for having a corner on that particular vice. I would hope to remember to be considerate of others -- even if that means that I have to have a white dress and a huge ring (though I'm not sure how that would help anyone, but at any rate....)

Ok, enough conjecture tonight. I'm not getting married any time soon, but I do have a shower to give tomorrow, so I should head to bed and get my beauty sleep so I don't scare the bride tomorrow. :)