The Adventures of Pinky Finger

Once upon a time there was a little pinky finger.  He was enjoying the bright sunshine one day (collecting lots of vitamin D) and enjoy the feeling of the wind in the sparse hair that covered his back when suddenly, with no warning, he was thrown against a hard surface.  For a moment he felt nothing.  Then the kindly eyes looked down at him and the brain sent him a message: something was terribly wrong, he was at least dislocated, if not broken.  He felt a moment of panic but quickly calmed himself.  

After much attention from doctors and about a week of healing he looked like this:

Now, almost completely healed, he would like to give you his personalized holiday greetings:

1. The unbaked turkey-finger (with stuffing) and the baked turkey-finger want to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving!

2. Rudolph, the red-nailed finger-deer wants to wish you a Merry Christmas!

3. He also wants to mention that finger piercings are now the totally in thing and he thinks everyone will be getting them soon.

What's not to love?

Happy Birthday, Israel!


In honor of Israel's 62nd year, another blogger wrote a list of 62 things he loves about Israel. The entire list can be read here, but I figured I'd include some of my favorites (with a few additional comments of my own), just for kicks.


5. I love the kumkum (electric hot water kettle). I'm not saying that I brought it into my bathroom to shave because the dood (solar water heater) wasn't hot, but… Ok, that's exactly what I'm saying.
I personally don't use it to shave, but I do love the hot water kettles.  So handy.  So much tea. :)


6. I love how the painter not only asked me for coffee before working on my apartment but how I immediately made it for him without any feelings of weirdness. In the US, I'd have him committed.


7. I love how the Nefesh B'Nefesh Hanukka video on Ben Yehudah Street got a million hits. Now if you'll please excuse me, I have to go do a flash mob in Gaza. (The Black-Eyed Peas are huge in Khan Yunis.)
You can watch it yourself here.


8. I love humous for approximately 47,000 different reasons. By the way, when Israeli kids try to pull a fast one on the substitute teacher, do they use the fake name "Hugh Muss"?
Ditto the loving humous thing.  Love humous.  However you spell it.  Humus.  Chumus.  It's all good.  


11. I love that during a visit to New York, I stopped by the Aroma on the Upper West Side, struck up a conversation with an Israeli woman at the counter, and within thirty seconds, found someone we knew in common. Look out, parents: there's a new drug hitting the streets. It's accessible, it's addictive, and it's a menace to society. Goodbye, cocaine; hello, ice Aroma.
They have Aroma in New York?!


12. I love emphatically saying the word "ba-RUUUUUUUUUUUUUR!!!!!!!!!" It's like "duh" with more raysh-es.
I think this is one word I'm going to have to pick up.  


13. I love that while waiting at a photocopy shop in the dead of summer, an employee walked around and gave out cups of cold water to the customers. That's what I call Israeli hospitality.
Gotta share water.


14. I love that the cleaning lady asked, "Do you want me to organize this too? You know, because Pessah is coming..."


26. I love the new Apple stores with the best customer service I've ever seen in this country. Are we sure these are really service representatives? Quick, somebody check their passports for "Dubai."
I'm not an Apple person, but do they actually have good customer service?  IN ISRAEL?  I might have to switch.


32. I love how Israel is kicking Lebanon's ass in the humous wars. Take that, Hizbullah. Now what about the biggest bottle of arak?  First round's on me.
Yeah, the humous battles make me laugh.  So random.

33. I love that in a recent episode, the Simpsons came to Israel, that the tour guide spoke Hebrew, and that I understood it.  If he had said yiyeh b'seder, it would have made my year.
Yeah, I really wish I could understand more than a word here and there of what the guide said.  It sounded good.


42. I love the insanely awesome juices you can get here, even at the grocery store. Strawberry banana, pomegranate, humous fig. Ok, I made the last one up. This would be a good time to mention again that whereas fruits are tasty and affordable here, you have to take out a small business loan to buy a banana in the US. $1.25 at the airport? No thanks, I'd rather lick the runway.


62. I love that I've had this once-in-a-lifetime experience and that it's not over yet.
 Amen to that!

Signs of Pesach

Today I got free food.  Why?  Because we are the known goyim in our apartment building.  Pesach (Passover for you non-Hebrew speakers) is upon us and all good Jews are removing all traces of leaven from their homes (and hey, instead of throwing it out, might as well give it to the poor-college-student-heathens in the building).

For us non-Jews this sounds like it should be a relatively easy process: dump the yeast (and maybe the baking soda and baking powder?), throw out any breads you might have hanging around, and you're good to go.  Apparently it's not quite that simple, as evidenced both by items given to us by our neighbors and items currently unavailable in Jewish grocery stories:
Cookies
Cake
Crackers (other than matza)
Tortillas
Pasta
Cereal (unless you buy kosher-for-passover cereal)
Flour

According to Wikipedia (and other sources I have read and heard from), Chametz/Leaven is defined as "a product that is (a) made from one of five types of grains, and (b) has been combined with water and left to stand for longer than eighteen minutes without being baked."  This is a Rabbinical definition, not given anywhere in the Bible.  Still, if that is the definition we operate under some of the discarded foods above make a little more sense.

With things like crackers, tortillas, and cereal, I suppose it would be easy enough if making them at home to insure that they were baked before 18 minutes passed, but, if they are purchased, one has no way of knowing how long they sat.

Pasta, though seeming unlikely to contain trace elements of yeast, is generally dried rather than baked...and that, I suppose, eliminates it.

The homemade cookies and cake are perhaps discounted because they include baking soda?  In reality, they are probably eliminated because, apparently, any sort of baked good containing those 5 grains and water, other than matza, is automatically eliminated.  Even those which would otherwise make the cut.  Who knows?  I, for one, am still confused by the distinctions.

I must admit, though, that I still have a hard time understanding why grocery stores don't carry flour.  After all, I'm pretty sure that flour is used to make matza.  Perhaps they are afraid that there will be a flood or a pipe will burst or something, and all the flour will get wet, and then, within the next 18 minutes, they will have chametz on their hands.

I guess I just won't be able to make my own matza this season.  Don't worry, though, I won't be matza-less.  Last week a nice Jewish man came and gave free matza to all the inhabitants of my apartment building.  I'm set.


//Please note that no offence is meant to Jews or their holiday practices.  As an outsider I find some of them
//quite humorous (especially when the Biblical basis and logic behind them are considered).  Still, I recognize
//that some of my holiday traditions probably appear just as ridiculous from the outside.  I mean, gifts in
//stocks on Christmas morning?  Where in the world did that tradition originate and how does it relate in
//any way to a baby in a manger?

Ash Wednesday

The Prayer of Manasseh:

O Lord, Almighty God of our fathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, thou who hast made heaven and earth with all their order; who has shackled the sea by thy word of command, who hast confined the deep and sealed it with thy terrible and glorious name; at whom all things shudder, and tremble before they power, for thy glorious splendor cannot be borne, and the wrath of thy threat to sinners is irresistible; yet immeasurable and unsearchable is thy promised mercy, for thou art the Lord Most High, of great compassion, long-suffering, and very merciful, and repentest over the evils of men.

Thou, O Lord, according to thy great goodness hast promised repentance and forgiveness to those who have sinned against thee; and in the multitude of thy mercies thou has appointed repentance for sinners, that they may be saved.

Therefore thou, O Lord, God of the righteous, hast not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance; thou hast appointed repentance for me, who am a sinner. For the sins I have committed are more in number than they sand of the sea; my transgressions are multiplied, O Lord, they are multiplied!

I am unworthy to look up and see the height of heaven because of the multitude of my iniquities. I am weighted down with many an iron fetter, so that I am rejected because of my sins, and I have no relief; for I have provoked thy wrath and have done what is evil in thy sight, setting up abominations and multiplying offenses.

And now I bend the knee of my heart, beseeching thee for thy kindness. I have sinned, O Lord, I have sinned, and I know my transgressions. I earnestly beseech thee, forgive me, O Lord, forgive me! Do not destroy me with my transgressions! Do not be angry with me forever or lay up evil for me; do not condemn me to the depths of the earth.

For thou, O Lord, art the God of those who repent, and in me thou wilt manifest thy goodness; for, unworthy as I am, though wilt save me in thy great mercy, and I will praise thee continually all the days of my life. For all the host of heaven sings thy praise, and thine is the glory forever.

Imposition of the Ashes:

Turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel,

Remember, you are dust and to dust you will return.

A few pictures...

...From Yom Kippur.

Would it be bad if I said that my favorite day here in Jerusalem is probably Yom Kippur? It's just so peaceful. The eternal din of engines and horns and sirens is finally silenced as everyone, religious and secular Jews alike, take a day to rest and reflect. It's a little magical. The smell of flowers is noticeable as the odor of exhaust dissipates. Children ride their bikes down the middle of the street, laughing together. Groups of people, families and friends, dressed in white, forsake the sidewalks in favor of walking on the street.

It was a good day to explore a little and take some pictures.

When I went to the library a little later I was surprised by how silent it was. Every little noise I made seems to make a racket. Then I realized that there was no ambient noise of traffic and horns floating in. It made a huge difference.

Alas, the city has now returned to its normal noisy state...until next year...

Holy Smoke!

...and actually, I'm not just being irreverant.  If such a thing as holy smoke exists, then that's what I expericenced today.  I suppose that technically it's the fire that is considered holy, but I figure the smoke is connected closely enough to consider it holy too. :)

I probably should start at the beginning.  If I can determine where that is.  Beginnings can be rather hard to determine and rather hotly debated in this country, believe it or not.  

Perhaps I should start with an explanation as to why Easter is celebrated on two different days here in Jerusalem.  From what I understand (which may not be entirely correct), part of the Council of Nicea (325AD) was to decide which date to celebrate Easter.  The majority of the council agreed to break away from the Jewish system of dating (thus also making a final break with the Jewish community).  However, some parties disagreed with this decision (and perhaps others too) and split from the main church.  Thus, the Eastern Orthodox and Armenian Churches celebrate Easter on a different day.  This year, that happened to be exactly one week after the Protestant and Catholic Easter.  

Perhaps next I should explain something that happens on the Saturday of Orthodox Easter weekend.  I quote from our Friday AM (school news) publication:
"'The Miracle of the Holy Fire' by Christians from the Orthodox Churches is known as 'The greatest of all Christian miracles'. It takes place every single year, on the same time, in the same manner, and on the same spot. No other miracle is known to occur so regularly and for such an extensive period of time; one can read about it in sources as old as from the eighth Century AD. The miracle happens in the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem, to millions of believers the holiest place on earth."

Still confused?  Just wait.

This morning I got up and was reading my Bible and eating breakfast when Cameron came by and asked if I wanted to go with them to see the Holy Fire.  He and Matt had been planning to go and had connections with people in the Amenian Church who gave them passes.  It ended up that they had an extra pass, so I decided to go with them and Terry, a worker at Jerusalem School in Beit Jala.  

We went into the old city through Zion gate and arrived at the Armenian Convent.  Eventually, some people they knew came by and invited us inside.  It's not really a convent.  It's more of a compound where quite a few Armenians live.  All their "scouts" were inside with their uniforms, drums, and trumpets, getting reading to march in the parade.  

Eventually the procession started, the band leading the way and the rest of us following on foot.  It was crowded, but not too terrible.  

As we got close to Jaffa Gate, Cameron decided that we should be closer to the band, so we snuck up and managed to start down the road towards the church, just as the police closed the barrier behind us.  I think they must have let in more people later, but we felt priviledged.  We made it past the next barrier before it was closed, passed the band, and paused before the next barrier as it was opened.  There was a bit of a crush there, and some people near me fell down, but we got through that and made it into the chruch.  Once inside we weren't quite sure where to go.  We had a couple people checking our passes and trying to tell us where to go.  Eventually we got to a place, pretty much right next to the tomb, on the south side (to the left as you enter).    

It was probably between 11 and 12 when we got into the church...so we had a long wait.  We stood for a while, and watched the people around us, 

watched people come it, etc.  It was pretty crowed, but we were able to sit down on the floor where we were, so we sat for a while and read. 

Apparently it is traditional at this time for fights to break out and for some of the Armenians (that our connections were through) to get arrested.  Apparently the police really prepared this year because there really was no fighting, at least that I saw.  

Eventually the Greek Orthodox, Coptic, and Amenian Churches began their procession around the tomb.  They walked around it 3 times.  I couldn't really see much of what happened after this, but supposedly the Israeli soldiers (which were out in great number throughout the city and the church today) 'push' their way to the tomb and 'seal' it - enacting what Matthew says the Roman soldiers did to Jesus' tomb on Saturday.  Then I think the Greek Orthodox Patriarch enters the tomb and prays.  After the prayer, supposedly God sends fire.  

I quote again from Friday AM (supposedly this is what the Patriarch sees):

"From the core of the very stone on which Jesus lay an indefinable light pours forth. It usually has a blue tint, but the colour may change and take many different hues. It cannot be described in human terms. The light rises out of the stone as mist may rise out of a lake — it almost looks as if the stone is covered by a moist cloud, but it is light. This light each year behaves differently. Sometimes it covers just the stone, while other times it gives light to the whole sepulchre, so that people who stand outside the tomb and look into it will see it filled with light. The light does not burn — I have never had my beard burnt in all the sixteen years I have been Patriarch in Jerusalem and have received the Holy Fire. The light is of a different consistency than normal fire that burns in an oil lamp... At a certain point the light rises and forms a column in which the fire is of a different nature, so that I am able to light my candles from it. When I thus have received the flame on my candles, I go out and give the fire first to the Armenian Patriarch and then to the Coptic. Hereafter I give the flame to all people present in the Church."

At this point I can again pick up my narrative.  People all around were holding groups of candles (33 candles in a bunch, I think, for the years of Jesus' life).  As the lighted candle emerged from the tomb, the fire was passed from candle to candle.  

Soon there were small blazing fires all around us.  The heat, light, and smoke were incredible.  It was actually a little scary.  

However, it didn't last for long.  Most people blew out their candles within about a minute.  I even got to help one lady blow hers out.  Supposedly, though, the fire from here goes out to churches across the globe and is used to re-light candles (or something like that).  

At any rate, fairly soon most of the candles had been extinguished.  

The churches began processions around the tomb again, people left, and police barriers inside the church started to come down.  We stayed and watched for a while and then made our (crowded) way out of the church, past the rows of police and IDF, and eventually out of the Old City.  By this time it was probably about 3:00 and we were hungry.  Terry gave us a ride to 24 (the open all-day every-day mini-mart type store) where we got pita and hummas.  Yay, food!

Anyway, I have to say it was an interesting experience, and I daresay my description hasn't done it justice, just giving the bare facts as it were.  So let me try to give some thoughts and impressions.

First of all, let me emphasize that this is a really big deal.  I heard that there were something like 10,000 people in and near the church.  The people we stood next to were Armenians from Turkey.  Basically, people come from all over, sleep in the church over night, and expend all sorts of effort to be in the church to witness this miracle.   To us in the west this behavior seems bizarre.  But it's part of their tradition.

Then there's the "miracle."  Of course, our first thought is to discount it: the Patriarch takes a lighter in with him and that's where the holy fire comes from.  Of course, they have evidence of candles outside the tomb being spontaneously lit, but I'm sure we could come up with some explanation for that too.  Probably some joker (like one of the guys I was with) snuck up behind someone and just lit their candles when they weren't looking.  Likely enough, that's what happens and there is no real miracle.  But could there be a miracle?  I don't want to put God in a box: "No, God, you can't do this.  It's too weird and unreasonable."  Certainly God is powerful enough.  And our lack of understanding is hardly a good argument.  There are a lot of things about the orthodox church that I don't understand, but I want to learn more.  After all, they do claim to be our brothers and sisters in Christ, in spite of obvious differences.  Perhaps we could learn some things from them.  

It was interesting to see the excitement and passion in all the people around me when the fire emerged from the tomb.  It was an interesting experience, just in general.  Kind of hard to describe.  I don't think I'll plan to go next year, though.  

Happy Purim!

Ask a Jewish person, "What is the holiest holiday of the year?" and what do you expect to hear?

"Yom Kippur" you say, "The day of Atonement is clearly the holiest day of the year for Jews."

Well, maybe. Or maybe, just maybe you'd get the surprising answer of "Purim!"

"What?" you exclaim. "Purim isn't even mentioned in the Torah, much less commanded. It's from a book that barely made it into the Hebrew cannon of scriptures because it never mention's God's name. How could such a holiday ever be considered the holiest one?!"

Well, I'm not sure I totally understand it all myself, but let me try to explain. First, why compare Yom Kippur with Purim? Apparently the full name for the Day of Atonement in Hebrew is "Yom Kippurim." "Ki" means "like," so it could be taken to mean "Day that is Like Purim," giving Purim sort of a higher standing than Yom Kippur just by the names. In addition, Yom Kippur is a day of fasting and mourning over sin whereas Purim is a day of celebration and feasting. Apparently it is thought that it takes more holiness to truly worship God during a celebration than when you are mourning. Perhaps they have a point. At any rate, sometimes Purim is considered the holiest holiday on the Jewish calender.

So today I had a class on Jewish Thought and Practice where we learned about Purim (including why it is considered the holiest holiday) and tonight for a sort of "field study" we all went to Synagogues to experience the evening reading of Esther for ourselves.

"Wait a minute," you say. I thought Purim was celebrated the 13th of Adar...and isn't today the 14th?" You are, of course, correct. In most of the world, Purim is celebrated on the 13th of Adar (March 9th this year). However, the Jews in Shushan assembled on both the 13th and 14th (Esther 9:18). Because Shushan (Susa) was a walled city, at some point some Rabbis decided that Jews in walled cities should celebrate Purim on the 14th. And they have a pretty odd way of deciding which cities are considered walled. At any rate, Jerusalem is one (probably the main one) so in the city of Jerusalem proper, Purim is celebrated on the 14th of Adar.

I can't say too much about the actual celebration itself. Esther is read at night and then the next morning, and then there is supposed to be some sort of great feast involving lots of wine. I have only been to the evening reading, but I can tell you at little about that.

Purim is ever so slightly like Halloween, in that everyone dresses up. I was in down town Jerusalem Monday night and there were quite a few people going about in costumes - cat's ears, farie wings, etc. At Synagogue tonight almost everyone was dressed, well, a little unusually. Colorful wigs and hats were common, as were masks and face paint. Some people continued the theme in the rest of their outfit. There were witches and giant pink bunnies. There were some girls from the IDF with their guns and purple wings on their back - not a common sight in the US! There were children dressed as lions, bears, American Indians, Bob the Builder, Superman, and cowboys.

It was pretty fun to see everyone's costumes. I personally dressed as a carrot. Not the best costume in the world, but really, this is the third time I've had to come up with a costume and I just didn't prepare for that when I packed!

In class this morning we talked about whether or not women should be allowed to read Esther at the Synagogue. Some sources said yes, some said no. Apparently at the synagogue I went to women were allowed to read. I think we had 5 readers (2 chapters each) and I think three of them were women...and they were kind of hard to hear. Oh well.

It was an orthodox Synagogue, though perhaps more, um, "modern" than some. The men and women were separated by a thin curtain, but at least it wasn't women in the back, men in the front. The whole thing was in Hebrew. I was able to follow along a little in the reading. Of course, when the name "Haman" was read, everyone shouted and rattled their noise makers and stomped and otherwise just made lots of noise

to "blot out the name", and that helped me to find where we were when I got lost. :)

It was an interesting experience, for sure. I rather like this excuse to dress up better than Halloween. Perhaps I'll start celebrating Purim more often. :)

Yom Kippur

Tonight is the beginning of Yom Kippur, or the Day of Atonement. I'm guessing that most people who might read this have an idea of what this day entailed for the ancient Israelites. I'm also guessing that very few of you know what it's like in modern day Israel. Now, I don't at all claim to be an expert, but let me tell you what it's been like so far.

Yom Kippur, of course, starts at sun-down. It's kind of like a super-Sabbath, so everyone wants to be sure to be home and ready before sunset. Thus, most things in the city were closed by early afternoon. In general, Jerusalem is a pretty noisy city. There are always sirens, horns, and loud music to be heard. But now, there are no cars on the roads (exept possibly emergency vehicles), and everything is silent. There are people out walking (probably to and from Synagogue and the Western Wall) and I can hear their voices as they go along. That's how quiet it is. It's pretty amazing.

Most people will spend the day tomorrow fasting, still quiet, repenting, and going to Synagogue. In the eastern (Muslim) part of Jerusalem, life will go on as usual. But here in western Jerusalem, it's a day of quiet, time to repent of sin.

There are a few people who will be hard at work in spite of the holiday. Since the Yom Kippur attack, nearly 50 years ago, this is always a day of high alert for the security forces.

Here at school we actually have the day off, which will be nice. I think some of us might go to the Wall for a while to observe. Perhaps I will have more of an update later. :)